The Ceremony

© Marci Curtis – Michigan Wedding Photojournalist www.marcicurtis.com

For nearly a full day before the wedding ceremony, the skies were overcast and the rain was persistent. At best, we hoped for light rain and safe conditions. Despite the forecast, the clouds parted just a few hours before the event, the sun came out, and the puddles dried. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief, and at 6:30 PM we began our physically distant wedding ceremony. While it was not the event that we had planned, it certainly was a memorable one.

For those of you who could not be there, you can experience the event here by browsing through photographs, watching the video of the ceremony, and reading the transcript of the event below.

Wedding Ceremony Transcript:

Processional – Fox Den’s Delight by Grahm Hannah

Invocation

Welcome to the wedding of Carissa and Nathan. (Pausing for cheering.)

My name is Sandy Kreger and I have the great honor of being the officiant this evening.  I am a friend of the family. In fact, when I was at a gathering at Chuck’s house last summer, I asked the three boys if I could be an honorary Hatt sibling. They said, “You already are.”  

It has been lovely for me to get to know Carissa, who is such a giving and loving person.

Thank you so much for coming today. We know that you are familiar with the spaces set up for physical distance. In the spirit of love and safety, let us all remember to stay safe while we celebrate and enjoy each others’ company. Look at this wonderful loving group. I know you will help others feel comfortable in a safe way.

Today we have come together to witness the official joining of these two lives. I enjoy so much about Carissa and Nathan. I notice how they can have a difference of opinion but still look at each other and say, “we’ll work that out,” with a cheeky little smile. They are hilarious! They can tease each other and they crack jokes.  They are joyful. They laugh and laugh.

They are deep with each other. They care about the world together. They are strong individually, and strong together.

I think one of the things that I appreciate the most about Carissa and Nathan, is how they honor each other. It is very clear that they are each other’s number one cheerleader, protector, and support.

This beautiful marriage is celebrated today, but we knew. It has been 5 years in the making. How lucky are they to have each other and already have grown so much together? They are committed, they are all in. They get the inside jokes. They are dog parents together. They are different than when they first met, having already had each other’s influence and compassion. They are best friends. 

Since Carissa and Nathan come from varied backgrounds, you will notice that these backgrounds are represented in the readings and traditions.

Welcome

I want to welcome YOU to this very special wedding. Nathan and Carissa were absolutely determined to be married.

It is clear that YOU are special to Carissa and Nathan. You have had a hand in shaping who they are today, and they wanted to honor and welcome you.

When you hear your category, will you just give Carissa and Nathan a little wave? If you are a kid, when you hear your category, you can jump up and down and wave.

Welcome to the parents of the happy couple.

Welcome grandparents

Welcome to siblings and siblings in law

Welcome to aunts, uncles, and cousins, along with their significant others.

Welcome to nieces and nephews – you are allowed to yell hooray.

Welcome good friends and partners

Explanation of the Chuppah

The canopy is considered an object of Jewish ceremonial art. The chuppah represents a Jewish home symbolized by the cloth canopy and the four poles. Just as a chuppah is open on all four sides, so was the tent of Abraham open for hospitality. Thus, the chuppah represents hospitality to one’s guests.

It also represents the home that the bride and groom are going to (continue to) establish together. Like the sukkah, the chuppah reminds the bride and groom that they are protected.

It is preferable for the chuppah to be outdoors, under the stars, symbolizing the hopes that the couple will be blessed with a large family (interpret as you like).

Carissa and Nathan built and decorated their own chuppah, using discarded, felled logs from public spaces on the North side of Ann Arbor, where they both live and work- They are particularly proud that the chuppah is an artifact of creative labor. 

I notice how they constructed this fabulous chuppah, leaving no carbon footprint.  It is art from nature. This feels in keeping with the philosophy of the two, very creative, and science and earth loving people.  If you have had a few conversations with Carissa and Nathan, you will know that they use both sides of their brains, and they care about the earth and humanity.

In so many ways this represents the effort that has gone into this celebration of union. They are proud of the creative and collaborative efforts of the family and friends here at this event, and these values are cornerstones of their relationship.

Readings and Traditions

Now is the readings portion of the program. I’d like to call Nathan’s paternal grandmother, Mary Margaret, for a reading from the Song of Solomon – A Love Poem between Two Lovers:

A Love Poem between Two Lovers – Song of Solomon, Chapter 2, verses 10-13; Chapter 8, verses 6&7

Chapter 2, verses 10-13

My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

Chapter 8, verses 6&7

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

A Traditional Jewish Blessing, The Seven Blessings:

Next is a Traditional Jewish Blessing. I’d like to invite up Alex, Vickie, Chuck Jr., Phil, Chuck III, Becca, and Brendan to share this blessing. Nathan and Carissa picked the different portions to generally line up with strengths of each person.

1. Love (Alex)

May you be blessed with love. May your admiration, appreciation and understanding of each other foster a love that is passionate, tranquil and real. May this love between you be strong and enduring, and bring peace into your lives.

2. A Loving Home (Vickie)

May you be blessed with a loving home filled with warmth, humour and compassion. May you create a family together that honours traditions old and new. May you teach your children to have equal respect for themselves and others, and instil in them the value of learning and making the world a better place.

3. Humour and Play (Chuck Jr.)

May you be best friends and work together to build a relationship of substance and quality. May your sense of humour and playful spirit continue to enliven your relationship. May you respect each other’s individual personality and perspective, and give each other room to grow in fulfilling your dreams.

4. Wisdom (Phil)

May you be blessed with wisdom. May you continually learn from one another and from the world. Together, may you grow, deepening your knowledge and understanding of each other and of your journey through life.

5. Health (Chuck III)

May you be blessed with health. May life bring you wholeness of mind, body and spirit. May you keep each other well-balanced and grounded, and live long that you may share many happy years together.

6. Art, Beauty, Creativity (Becca)

May your life be blessed with the art and beauty of this world. May your creative aspirations and experiences find expression, inspire you and bring you joy and fulfilment. May you find happiness together in adventures big and small, and something to celebrate each day of your lives.

7. Community (Brendan)

May you be blessed with community. May you always be blessed with the awareness that you are an essential part of a circle of family and friends. May there always be within this group love, trust, support and laughter, and may there be many future occasions for rejoicing in their company.

Vows

In the quiet of this very special moment, we pause to give thanks for all the rich experiences that have brought Carissa and Nathan to this significant point in their lives. We are grateful for the values cultivated from those who have loved them, nurtured them, and pointed them along life’s way. We are grateful that within them is the dream of a great love and the resources to use that love in creating a home.

And now, as they make their promises to each other, may they make them with the deepest insight into their meaning and with their fullest sincerity. May this be the new beginning of a relationship that will continue to grow and mature with each passing year, so that the later days become even more wonderful than the early ones.

Please hold hands as you make your vows:

Nathan, repeat after me:

From this day forward, Carissa, you shall be my lawful wedded wife 

together to love, to work and to share,

to grow and to understand,

to discover a deeper, fuller life.

Carissa, repeat after me:

From this day forward, Nathan, you shall be my lawful wedded husband

together to love, to work and to share,

to grow and to understand,

to discover a deeper, fuller life.

Rings

In what ways are these rings significant? What are they worth beyond their material, objective value? Our cultural world of artifacts is meaningless without historical depth. These rings contain layers of properties, as the objects themselves carry the traditions of their bearers, the covenant of love and the new life created by their union, and the ritual itself.

The ring carries virtuous symbolism in its form. A circle has no beginning or end and is therefore a symbol of infinity.  In both the traditions of Judaism and Christianity, these rings symbolize this value. It is endless, eternal, just the way love should be.

Carissa, with Nathan’s ring, please repeat after me: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

Nathan, please repeat after me: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

(Editor’s note – rings might take a moment, and often stick.  You can maybe practice, but if you don’t just give it a moment to wiggle in there and work. There is no rush anyway. Rings go on the left hand. Feel free to erase this bit if you don’t want it in the document).

The Breaking of the Glass

After the bride has been given the ring, or at the end of a Jewish traditional ceremony (depending on local custom), the groom breaks a glass, crushing it with his right foot, and the guests shout: “Mazel Tov!” “Mazel Tov” is Hebrew for “Congratulations.” Let’s practice. 1, 2, 3, – Mazel Tov. Excellent. You say it after Nathan breaks the glass.

Some say that the reason the glass is broken during the wedding ceremony is to remember the destruction of the Jewish temples. It’s a ritual that tempers that happiness and allows for a moment of reflection.

Shattering glass, some scholars suggest, would keep demons away. It would frighten them with a loud noise, or otherwise confuse them into thinking it was an event of mourning, not of celebration.

Another idea is that humans can have moments where we are ‘broken’ or even ‘shattered.’ Like glass we can reform as new beings if need be.

Conversely, when a binding contract is sealed, breaking the glass symbolizes its irreversibility.

Time for the glass.  Ready?

(Breaks glass and everyone yells joyously)

Officiant Wishes for Future

I want to take this time to wish some things for you both in your future:

I want to take a minute, as a representative of the people here who love you and support you, to send some good wishes your way. Of course you’ve been together for years, so my wishes are mostly a continuation of what you are already doing.

I hope that you will both continue to look out for each other.

May you be fiercely protective of each other.

May you honor natural body care products and underwater robots.  

May you appreciate each other’s love of children, dogs, music, family, and Zingerman’s superlative baked goods.

May continue the little sweet things for each other from time to time.

I hope you continue to celebrate how you are each in the world, and in your own personal private way let each other know it.

It’s hard to both grow together, and honor each other for exactly the person you are right now.  But you two can do it.

May you continue to support  being healthy, and continue to learn about each other and laugh with each other.

The Pronouncement of Marriage

By the power vested in me by the state of Michigan I now pronounce you husband and wife. 

You may now Kiss.

The Kiss 

Announcement

A few announcements before I present our couple to you.

Guests are most welcome to enjoy the space for as long as you feel comfortable. After Carissa and Nathan sign their marriage contract and take a few short photos, we will cut the cake and have a space open for toasts. We will be here through the evening, with a little food and drink, and a camp fire to enjoy.

I’d like to present to you Mrs. Carissa Furspan and Mr. Nathan Hatt, our newlywed couple!

Recessional – “Wild Horses” adapted by Chuck Hatt Jr.